something deeper than black magic

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"I want to love. Not the first parts of love where the world sparkles and you tear at each other's skin trying to get closer and there's a sickness in realising you can't fully occupy each other. I'll have that too, but that's not what I mean. I want to love with that slow, assured love that feels serious and sacrificial. I want to feel like I have to work to keep them interested in me. To find little presents to give them once in a while, to see them through hard crappy times. To realise that there's other people in the world out there too and theyy have options. That I have to do my best, and if I don't I have to know when it's time to leave. Like Mary Poppins left when the wind changed. I have to find my wind."

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